It was a cold blustery night when our mum said we had to be out by morn, as she’d had enough of our kicking and carrying on. So, reluctantly we left her warm womb. She gave us milk from her warm tits and kept us close. The people came to check on us and two young lads were oft reprimanded for picking us up and lugging us about. They’d put us down and we’d scamper back to our mum’s soft fur. There were other babes around the barn as well. We were all quite content.
Three days later my brothers and cousins and I were brought indoors and put into a kennel. The house was warm as we all piled into a heap and fell asleep. We heard murmurs from afar; something about us being boys and that we must go. I wondered where we were going.
The two lads were joined by two wiggly girls and other taller people. They passed us around and snapped photographs. Someone forced a strange rubbery tit into my mouth, which I did not like in the least to begin with, but the warm milk it contained was familiar. I drank a bit then kept falling asleep. I was jostled by a tiny human and my brother so I got up and walked around. The people chose me and my brother to go home. I didn’t know where home was, but it turns out it wasn’t with my mum and cousins.
I got a new mama, and a dad too. The two wiggly girls came to feed us warm milk in bottles. They then went home. There must be a lot of homes. Mama and dad stayed here. They didn’t have soft fur but they did give us scritches and warm milk, so we soon got acclimated.
Strange little fur covered animals with big ears called cats kept jumping into our playpen and swatting us on the head. We thought they wanted to play but they kept running off.
We were then moved out of doors where a white mountain of a dog who drooled, named Gandalf, resided. He seemed willing enough for us to live there. He wagged his tail- we rather like to nibble on that tail- but he doesn’t like us jumping on his back and yelling, “Yeehaw!” He gives us kisses full of slime and tries to run us over during playtime. Quite frightening, really. He is very loud and will not let any strange animal play with us.
Brom knows how to get out of the gate and we like to chase chickens and yell for mama. But our favorite pastime is racing to see who can finish their bottle the fastest. Brom has always won and then would try to steal mine and he’d nibble on mama’s fingers and she would get terribly agitated. But today, I won!
Mama tries to give us weird grass stuff. The dog won’t eat it either. We really rather prefer warm milk and want it always. Gandalf says we can’t always get what we want. He says he’d like for for mama and dad to get rid of the weird cats and leave the door open so he can climb on the sofas and eat off the counters. Mama abhors slobber on the sofas and on the counters and says he’s better outside guarding us. I don’t know what from, but he sure takes his job seriously.
Rumors are that we are meat goats but mama and dad assure us we are not and that we shall live here as long as we are here. Gandalf says it depends on how ill behaved we are. We never know if he is joking.
My name is Ichabod Crane and my brother is called Brom Bones. Mama and dad laugh and say we are from Sleepy Hollow. I don’t have any recollection of living any other place than here though. Maybe my cousins live in Sleepy Hollow still.
It is time for me to go. I have to practice my jumps and turns off of this pallet and Brom wants to jump on the dog and then we have to yell for more milk. We have a full schedule here on Pumpkin Hollow Farm. See ya later!