Signs and Purpose

“Your vision is for you. And there will be many times when other people can’t see your vision. That’s all right because if God gave you the vision, God will give you the provision. God is not going to bring your provision through your sister’s vision. It’s going to come to you, for you, through you, as soon as you eliminate the deficiencies.”

Iyanla Vanzant

My husband and I have always been firm believers in signs. Crumbs left along the path. A nod in the right direction. Doug jokes that we are often a little dense and God has to hit us with a sack of nickles before we notice!

Send me a sign!

“Should I go back to college?” I asked a few years ago. I could register at Pueblo Community College and get started.

The next day, the bus stop outside the house we were living in had a bright, new, shiny advertisement on it. For Pueblo Community College.

Isn’t that strange? Isn’t that a coincidence?!

I backed out of going to school. Actually, I lose my nerve every year. I have registered for school and unregistered more times in the last five years than I would like to admit. The fear of the unknown gets stronger as one gets older.

I have lived many “lives” within this one. I have always been adventurous and excited about the next step. I have always been sensitive and easily heartbroken, which makes me move on to the next thing perhaps a little too quickly.

I have worked side by side with an alcoholic veterinarian in a failing clinic assisting with surgery and developing X-rays. I have been a professional model, one of my favorite jobs. That led to running an acting company, being a floor director for a television show pilot, and ultimately, a modeling and acting teacher. I have owned a dance company and taught ballet, jazz, tap, hip hop, and lyrical to hundreds of children. I have been a clinical herbalist for the past dozen years. Over that time I opened two shops, helped thousands of clients, and ran a school of herbalism. I am a farmer. None of these professions seem to have anything to do with one another. Another profession has whispered in my ear incessantly for the past five years, And I have tried to ignore it. Because, what if I fail (again)?

Sometimes, I believe, we all wonder about our purpose in life. Our divine destiny. And we somehow got to thinking that our destiny was a profession. Am I meant to be a vet? Am I meant to be a janitor? Where really, we need to look at our underlying and innate gifts; gifts of humor, or of listening, a love for those in need, or of organization and leadership that are the propellers of destiny. Not a job itself. You will be placed where you are most needed. What are you called to do? I want to be a high school teacher. That is a lot of debt to take on in middle age. That is a huge leap of faith to believe I can get a job when I am done and that I will love it. How does it tie in with anything I have done?

Doors open, people are placed in our path, life shifts, good comes out of bad, but our purpose is an emotion. I see now that my purpose in life is to inspire, to encourage, and my real love is to work with young people. I also have a great interest in language, cultures, and food. And I really love to teach. How do these things tie together? We’ll find out! We must trust that our passions are leading us to our next place of healing and service. We learn life lessons. We experience life. We meet interesting and wonderful people. We help others. Our unique gifts help us navigate to find where we belong at the moment. I truly believed that my ultimate destiny and life purpose was as an herbalist. I will always make herbal medicines, but there is still more beyond the next hill. My 46th birthday is tomorrow and today I gave myself a gift. I registered for classes.

Send me a sign!

I went out to the wild part of our pasture to gather bricks to ring a garden with. Half buried under a cedar tree, I picked up a brick that was smaller, more compact than the others, with the familiar font of Pueblo Community College. A PCC brick in my pasture.

Isn’t that strange? Isn’t that a coincidence?!

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